All Aboard!

I just received confirmation from our fertility clinic in Thailand that everything is going according to plan.  Our egg donor has 14 - 15 possible eggs.  We will even have a chance to meet her on Saturday, our egg retrieval day! How exciting!

As for our house, we have not signed the papers to sell it yet.  There is still one more inspection/second opinion from the buyer before we can make amendments to our contract to officially sell our place. Both my hubby and I are having second thoughts about selling our place... there isn't much out there... well, everything is up in the air until we return at the end of the month.

Our plane to Guang Zhou takes off in about an hour and thankfully we have a friend who will be picking us up in Bangkok Wednesday evening.

I had butterflies in my stomach this morning and my hubby didn't sleep well last night. I know that I can find solace in you, Lord, and that I will be no worse off than I am now in 3 weeks. The worse thing that could happen: no baby and we are out $12K.

So I look to you, Lord for help, wisdom and rest. I pray for your protective hand over my hubby as I am not certain how he will take it if we have another miscarriage... I pray that he will turn to You and ask for help this time.

I Smell Change...

Today is our 10th anniversary. Yikes! Am I really that old?  It's a reminder of where I'm at.  We received an offer on our home last night. I'm rather scared and excited. God, I look to you for guidance as I feel like I'm entering a tunnel that I know when come out, all will be different.

God, you have only provided me with immense blessings and I know there is no gain if there is no risk.  So I jump face forward into the deep end. One year from now, I could have a new addition to the family, be living out of a rental suite and perhaps accepting a new position in a new school...

But I know you see the big picture for I don't have the stomach to do it, I just know that you will be there to carry me through.

Less than 3 weeks away

Wow! I'm going to be starting my Estrace tomorrow.  This means 17 days until my IVF procedure.  An event that could change the rest of my life... I haven't put much thought into it yet.  I've given this load to God and I don't think this will come to the forefront of my mind until next week when my holidays actually start.

This is the year of change... one of many to come...

Waiting for the Light at the End of the Tunnel

Gee Whiz... Drama unfolds... This nurse at Olive is getting on my nerves.  It was so annoying that I wrote and sent a letter of complaint to one of the doctor's at the clinic.  How hard is it to fax 2 sheets of paper overseas?  If you can't do it, then mail it to me and I will do it myself... ahhh.

When I called today, my paperwork wasn't even in the folder. This week I feel God's support and I feel like my patience is being tested.  So Lord, I pray that you don't let go.  I am feeling pretty frail right now.  I do appreciate how much my students enjoy learning from me.  I guess I have spoiled them!

Wow! It's Finally Sinking In

Amazing!  I just started my period regulating drug to synch my period to my donor's.  We will look into book our flight to Thailand over the next few weeks.  There's a part of me that wants to pinch myself and ask, "Is this for real?"

I must say that work has been a little stressful. I kind of forgot how difficult it was to work with people who aren't on the same "page"... oh well... I see a great divide forming... I'm not liking it and am not interested in being caught in the middle or in the trenches.  So Lord, I am asking you to help me out... do I stay or do I go? If I am to leave, please show me a VERY OBVIOUS sign.

I know that this is our year of change, but it will be a change that will come from you. Help me to be more forgiving and to live up to your image.

Little Complications

It has taken close to 2 months to coordinate my ultrasound sound, bloodwork and medication to be done locally.  But the real journey is about to begin.  In about a month, I will actually get to start my medication protocol.  I am excited but also scared.  This means that my dream to be a parent is slowly coming to fruition.

I sometimes laugh at the thought that I might actually experience being pregnant and I'm not too sure that I want to.  I'd like to have the end product, the baby, but not too stoked about the weight gain and the thought of going through the physical pains of delivery.

Still Hoping for a Miracle

There's always a hope in the back of mind that God will perform some kind of a miracle - Give me a miracle baby... kind of hokey, I know.  But I know that all I have are blessings from Him. The very fact that I am relatively happy, have a loving husband and family, have a roof over head, food to eat and a steady career that I love that provides me income are more than enough.

My life could be so much worse, but thank the Lord that it isn't so far.

Here is a song that just popped into my head:
How great is he, who is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, He is wonderful. 

I know that my husband and our immediate family and close friends are excited about our trip to Thailand.  Some of them are hoping to rendez-vous with us in Asia!  Talk about being supportive!  I am hoping that things will get sorted out with all my tests and meds over the next few weeks.  I know we ran into a few complications with "drug translations - quantity and type" (Drugs in Thailand versus drugs available in Canada).  I'll find out in the next week or two if things have worked out.

As for now, it's just a waiting game.  It's funny as it seems that God always asks me to be patient. He fullfills wishes, but definitely in His time.